I have a top 10 list of books that I recommend to admins and other professionals I work with. But this book had held the #1 spot since the day I started reading it years ago:
Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high
By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
It should be required reading for all human beings! It IS REQUIRED reading for Success-Minded Administrative Professionals.
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with two or more people that you did not know how to manage your way through? Did opinions vary? Were the stakes high? Did emotions run strong? If so, you were having a “crucial conversation.”
The authors make an audacious claim in the first chapter: Master your crucial conversations and you’ll kick-start your career, strengthen your relationships, and improve your health. As you and others master high-stakes discussions, you’ll also vitalize your organization and your community. The authors demonstrate through their research that strong relationships, careers, organizations, and communities all draw from the same source of power – the ability to talk openly about high-stakes, emotional, controversial topics.
Dialogue skills are learnable. This book takes you step by step through the mental and emotional processes to help you begin to understand how you personally react in these situations including the physical and chemical changes that take place in your body and how to overcome them. You’ll learn how to stay focused on what you really want, how to notice when safety is at risk, and how to make it safe to talk about almost anything. One of the key skills the authors teach you is how to stay in dialogue when you’re angry, scared, or hurt, and how to listen when others blow up or clam up. Finally, once you learn and apply all of these new skills, they show you how to turn crucial conversations into action and results.
When this book was recommended to me several years ago, I had no idea the profound impact it would have on my personal and professional life. Now, I apply the principles of how to have a crucial conversation every single day. Some days I’m more successful than others. But the skills are priceless. Learning how to have a crucial conversation is truly one of the most powerful tools that you can add to your skill set and apply to every aspect of your life.
You may visit the Vital Smarts website here and enroll in free webinars they host. Sign up for the Vital Smarts e-newsletter and you can download and read the first chapter and take their Style Under Stress Test. But don’t wait another day – get online, get to the bookstore, or go to the library – start reading this book today!
What books have you read that have profoundly impacted your professional development?
No matter where you work, who you work for, or how many people are on your team, good communication skills are vital to your success. Many conflicts on teams and issues with teamwork are directly linked to communication issues…or more accurately communication preferences.
As a qualified Myers-Briggs Type Indicator administrator and trainer, I have had the opportunity to work with individuals and teams as they learn about their personal preferences and begin to observe more objectively the preferences of their team mates. One of the most enlightening moments in these workshops or coaching sessions come when participants realize how their own communication preferences – how they gather, send, receive, and make decisions on information – dramatically affects those they work with or live with. I always say – it’s not that the person in the cube next to you is a complete nut, it may be that they just send and receive information differently than you do.
Understanding how to communicate successfully begins with understanding yourself and your personal preferences for:
- How do you gather information?
- How do you make decisions?
- How do you get your energy?
- How do you show your preferences to the outside world?
When you understand and recognize your own personal preferences in these four areas, you begin to recognize the preferences of those around you and how they may be similar to or different from your own preferences. This is where truly meaningful conversation begins (or improves).
If you or your team would benefit from improving your communication skills and positively impacting how you work together as a team, contact me at julie@julieperrine.com for more information on scheduling a Myers-Briggs workshop.
Julie Perrine CPS/CAP
Qualified Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Administrator – ESTJ